Archive for the ‘lessons’ Category

Conditioning Rope

October 7, 2008

(edited because I completely forgot to reference and link to the company I purchased the rope from as I meant to!)

The hunt for rope began at Home Depot. 

I picked up a package of a nylon/polyester solid-braid blend and made floggers out of it. This began my fascination with the stuff. After that, I picked up another pack of 8mm nylon/poly, this one more of a twisted rope. I cut this into thirty-foot lengths, and this was my first set of bondage rope (the set I dyed with kool-aid, if you’ve been taking notes). I also picked up some ten-millimeter stock. I used this to make a rather heavy flogger that’s quite nice. 

In the interim, I bought a batch of manila and another of sisal. The manila simply isn’t going to get where I want it to be, therefore I gave up. As for the sisal, I researched it and realized it really wasn’t going to suit my needs before I wasted any time trying to condition it.

So I finally got my hemp rope in.  It’s from a company called Rawganique out of Canada.

After getting good information from Ellie Lumpesse, I started by singeing the rope to remove any sharp or long fibers.  I had a pot of water on hand in case of incident. The water attracted a certain curious pussycat.
After that, I plopped it into the pot to let it boil. It boiled for six long, stinky hours. I then dumped it out and hung it to dry.

This morning, I stretched it. My tools? Gloved hands and my feet. 

After the stretching came more singeing, then I oiled it with scented mineral oil. I’m not sure how much oil is actually called for, but I’m going to be working the rope more and adding more oil. It’s very very lovely, and I have four thirty-foot lengths of it.

I also have a spare three feet that I’ll be using for several dyeing experiments. This first batch is staying its natural color, however.

Conclusion: While I’m not completely done conditioning this rope, I will say it was worth the time. I don’t know if it’s going to be something I do often, or learn to do with any efficiency, but I’ve been enjoying this. I now understand the work that Twisted Monk puts into his stock, and I’ve heard his stuff is absolutely amazing. 

By the way, check out my bitchin’ sailor’s whipping:

It looks so much better than the electrical tape I did have on the ends of all my rope before. Oh, and the blurry black thing? Not the monster from Lost. That’s a cat trying to get his catfoot into frame while mommy’s shooting pictures.

There’s something about making your own tools. You’re putting your own time and sweat into it, and you’re putting something of yourself into it. There’s a connection there. My rope floggers aren’t the prettiest critters, but I know the feel of them. The vampire glove I made (which I gifted to DB) was downright ugly…but it got the job done, and I knew it. I urge everyone to make at least one toy for your bag. ;) See if you don’t enjoy it.

Tomorrow: Pervertibles!!

BDSM Checklist

September 25, 2008

The always-thinking Erotic Bohemian has started putting up her standard checklist up on her blog in series, with a call to other bloggers to talk about their own experiences with the activities within. Being that I love a good introspection, of course I took the bait.

Here goes:

  • An activity (or activities) that was a fun experience for you. What did you enjoy or what was an especially pleasurable activity? If you’ve never attempted any on the list, which do you think you’d enjoy if you had to choose one and why?
  • What, if any, of the activities below pushes a limit for you? Have you attempted it?
  • What, if any, of the below items was a good learning experience for you?

I’m kind of altering the original idea and going through each activity. Some I like, some aren’t so comfy, and some I’ve never tried. And for those of you that haven’t been reading my blog and don’t know me, I’m quite the switch, which is why I’m answering on both the top and bottom angles. ;)

The Checklist: Part I

I like sensations of many many kinds. If I’m understanding this right, it’s abrasive sensation, sandpaper, etc? If that’s the case, I’m up for trying it. ;)

Age Play
It’s not my thing. I know people that are into it, but it’s not something I would be into myself.

Anal Fisting
Receiving end? Oh no. Uh-uh. Giving end? If the other person was really into it (and I knew a little more about doing it safely), I’d consider it. It wouldn’t be a suggestion I’d bring up personally (Hey, I know what we can do that’s fun!!!). ;)

Anal Sex
Yup. When done properly, it’s quite fun. Always remember: LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND.

Animal Roles
This one’s kind of an odd one for me. I know it’s referring to pony/puppy/kitty play, but I have a rather strong animal side to me, and it can show up during sexual play. It’s not really a kink, just a personality thing.

Ass Worship / Analingus
Not something I’ve been on either end of. With proper safety precautions, it wouldn’t be out of the picture either way.

Bathroom Use Control
Not something I’d find fun on either end.

Beating (Soft)
Beating (Hard)
As in rough body play? On the giving end: I’m learning a little bit about this, coincidentally. CK likes it, and I want to be able to do it safely. As the recipient: Not sure I’d dig it, but it’s not something I’ve tried (other than playful wrestling with friends). Jury’s out on that one.

Behavior Modification
I’m not interested so far in long-term D/s relationships, and this would definitely have to be along that line. It’s interesting to hear about, however.

Depends on the individual, the setting, and the situation.

Being Bitten
Oh yeah. ;) I think we all know I like this one. Biting or being bitten, actually.

Haven’t tried, either end. I’d be willing to.

I like the idea of someone else in one; I find it aesthetically pleasant and fun from a top’s point of view. As for myself, I’m not sure if I’d like it or not. I’d like to try wearing one at some point. The bit gag was an interesting headspace for me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a blindfold did something similar.

Body Writing
From a fun body art kind of perspective, could be interesting.

Body Worship With Tongue
I like to lick. ;) I like to be licked. That one’s pretty simple. :)

Bondage (Light)
Bondage (Heavy)
I’ve played with light bondage so far and have enjoyed it immensely, both being the one bound and the one doing the binding. ;) Haven’t tried heavy bondage yet, but am very willing.

Bondage (Public, Under Clothing)
The public stuff isn’t my thing. I don’t think I’d get a kick out of this one…

Boot Worship
Clothing is nice, but it’s not a fetish to me. It’s not anywhere near a limit or anything, but not something I’d seek out.

Branding (Permanent)
I rarely say never, but this one’s close. There’d have to be a really good reason.

Breath Control / Asphyxiation
This is currently a limit for me. I can deal with having light pressure on my throat, but that’s where the line is. And I also won’t control someone else’s breathing; it’s too dangerous and I’m too new at all this.

I think it’d be fun to have someone on ‘display’, as it were. As for myself, I’m not one to like being on display myself. I do have to admit, though, a part of me does find the idea intriguing. I’m not sure if I’d enjoy it, but it would be an interesting experience.

Haven’t tried it, but I really want to. Pretty welts. ;)

Castration Fantasy
As a mindfuck during a scene, it might be interesting…

Nope. I’ve been in too many hospitals and dealt with too much illness in others for this to be appealing to me.

Cattle Prod
That’d be fun to play with. *grin*

Cigarette / Cigar Smoke
Nope. Don’t find it sexy in the least.

I enjoy the aesthetics of chains; they’re visually, aurally, and tactilely appealing.

Discussed up there in breath play. *points up*

Clothespins (What body parts? )
Very curious about playing with clothespins. I picked some up during one of my ‘pervertibles’ trips to the dollar store, but haven’t had the opportunity to use ’em yet. And what body parts? I really don’t know, to be honest. I’m open to experimentation.

Clothing Specified
not sure what this one means?

Love the way they look on others, love the way they feel on me.

Competitions (With Other Subs)
This would be something I’d enjoy watching. ;)

Confinement (Long Or Short Term)
Confinement by itself? Not so much.

Crawling On Hands & Knees
This would have to be in context. I’m not into humiliation myself, and this resonates like that for me. If I was topping and my playmate was into it, that’s another thing altogether.

Pleasant to watch; not really a personal kink of mine, but I can appreciate the appeal of it for others.

I’m thinking this one’s an N/A for me. :)

Cum Eating (yours)
Cum Eating (others)
Other than the spelling of ‘cum’ squicking me (don’t know why. ‘come’ is fine, but ‘cum’ grates. :)), I don’t have a problem with it in the context of giving oral sex, at least. Now, basic safety makes this one a no-no with casual partners.

Love ’em, both on myself and others.

Cum tasting, consumption (yours/others)
Didn’t we just do this one? *points up*

I’m a fan. ;)

I’m very curious about cuttings; I’m not sure how I’d enjoy being on the recieving end, but I think I’d dig it. As for being the one doing the cutting, I think I’d be too tempted to taste, which ain’t healthy. ;)

Now, keep in mind: if I said I wasn’t into your particular kink, please don’t take it as an insult! My opinions are just that, and your mileage may vary. :)

If anybody has any questions about my answers or wants me to clarify, speak up! I’m listening. :)

Rope Conditioning

September 10, 2008

I have several lengths of nylon/polyester rope that are essentially usable out of the package, and they seem like they’ll work quite well. However, I keep hearing how much better natural fiber ropes are for bondage (and I’m sure they’ll hold knots better). So, gonna try this.

I already had a couple of lengths of rope sitting around unconditioned (a length of sisal and a length of manila). These are not ropes that are traditionally considered the best for bondage, but I’m not planning on suspending anyone with them and the price was right for experimentation. ;)

I’m doing some research right now (*gasp* No, research? Me? Never!) on proper conditioning, and as usual I’m getting several different viewpoints on the best way to do so.

Some people say mink oil (can’t afford it! ;)), tea oil, simple mineral oil, baby oil or vaseline, and some people just say to condition the rope with the oils from your own skin. Some people say boil, some don’t.

Does anyone have any suggestions that have worked well for them?

Thoughts About Submission

August 31, 2008

Before I started researching BDSM and talking to more people in the lifestyle, I used to refer to some of my moods as ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’. After the research, I actually amended that. I really tend to be more ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ than ‘dom’ or ‘sub’. I can be dominant or submissive for a period of time, but I’m not either on a permanent basis.

Last night CK and I had a playdate. Any play we’ve done before has been almost impromptu, short, and not extremely intense. This was a full-blown planned and anticipated scene as opposed to the casual nature of our other playtimes. The anticipation, I found, really put me in an interesting frame of mind. It seemed to do the same for him, if I were to judge by the intensity of the scene.

He called me before he came over to talk about dinner plans, and then he says, “I think I’m going to put a gag on you tonight.”. I think I actually paused before answering “Oo-kay.”. The idea seemed kind of out of the blue, and I’ve never worn a gag (or even really thought about it) before. He followed up with, “What do you think about that? Is that all right?”. I replied with, “I’ll try anything once.” and then we talked about other things.

When he came over, we ate dinner and talked, and then playtime started. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned a dozen times before, CK bites. He was in more of a biting mood than usual and he was much more physical about it than usual, grabbing me and restraining me with hands and body while he sank his teeth into my back, my shoulders, and my neck. I was already breathless by the time he moved me where he wanted me. He pulled a bit gag out of his bag and asked me again if I was okay with it. I nodded, but I was oddly hesitant. I really don’t know why I was hesitant about it…it was strange. I agreed to try it, though. He turned me around and fitted the gag in my mouth, buckling it under my hair. While I was facing away from him, he ran a hand over my back and then bit me again, hard. I could still make as much noise as I wanted, but couldn’t articulate.

CK stripped me down to my underwear, had me lean against the counter, and raked his nails over my back several times (that always makes me shiver). He then turned me around and asked if I was still okay. I nodded slowly. At this point he just stared at me for a moment, stroking my hair, and I stared back. I was almost trembling, and we hadn’t even really started yet. He jokingly bemoaned the fact that his camera batteries were dead, because (and I quote) “You look really hot in that.”. He turned me back around and started grabbing floggers out of my bag.

Right then, I really felt more vulnerable than I have in a long time. My hands and feet were free, I wasn’t restrained in any way other than by CK telling me where to put my feet and hands. Standing there nearly naked, gagged, skin already tingling from the marks of nails and teeth, I felt exposed, vulnerable, and I enjoyed every second of it.

The flogging itself I won’t go into a play-by-play on for the simple reason that it would get dull fast. I will say that the rope flogger I made with the three knots on each strand? When used with force, it leaves a gathering of welts that turns into a gathering of tiny bruises. It’s harsh. That one, the bootlace flogger, and the large red and black ones are the ones that made me squeal and writhe the most. CK likes the heaviness of the red and black one, while I like the sharp sting of the bootlace. After a while, he removed the gag; he didn’t want it to get too uncomfortable my first time wearing it.

Finally he stopped a little abruptly, changed the tone of the music (he’d set up a soundtrack; heavier music for the scene itself and quieter music for cooling down), and lightly started stroking my back. When it got through my somewhat fuddled mind that we were done, I protested lightly “We’re done? Aw…” and “I could go longer…”, but didn’t push it when he drew me over to the couch to sit.

See, a while back, I told CK I wanted to take baby steps, and asked him to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t go too far too fast and do anything stupid. I apparently jumped in a way that made him really look closely at me, and he decided I’d had enough. He was right, I’m sure, but at that moment he could have suggested damn near anything and I would have agreed. “Wanna try flesh hook suspension with dinner forks?” “Oh sure! sounds like fun!!”. *snicker* So yeah, it’s good to have someone that’s actually keeping a watch. I’d lost track of time, it seems. I thought it had been maybe fifteen minutes, and it had been nearly an hour.

Now, coming back to the title of the post. When CK has topped me in the past (either the two mini-scenes or the many times we’d just played around with teeth and nails and flesh), I never really felt truly submissive. Bottom-y, yes, but not really submissive. If someone bites me on the back of the neck or tugs my hair just right, it puts me in a somewhat submissive mood, but that only goes so far. When he put that bit in my mouth and buckled it tight, it put me straight into a very submissive headspace. Even though my hands were free, I would never have thought about removing it unless I had permission to do so. It was a strange and almost scary feeling, and it took me a while thinking about it afterward to process.

I ultimately concluded that I liked the feeling, that headspace, at least tentatively. ;) It’s something I’m curious about exploring in the future. I’m also wondering if that was a one-time thing or if being gagged like that will always put me into that submissive space.

CK had fun too; he’s normally the one doing the bottoming, and these playtimes give him a chance to let out his top/sadistic side. I think he’s enjoying exploring that side of himself.

In any case…it was amazingly fun, I’m amazingly sore, and I have some amazingly cool bitemarks. If I can get the boy back over before they fade, I’ll try to get some pics. They’re not in spots that I can photograph successfully.

Anybody else have odd triggers like that, or notice a difference between bottom-space and subspace? Am I overthinking things (because I do tend to do that)? Anybody want to massage a sore back and ass? ;)

First Play Party: Wow.

August 17, 2008

It was actually hard coming up with a title for this post. The first thing that popped into my head was humorous, of course (it wouldn’t be me, otherwise) : “First Play Party: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”. Problem is, there was no bad and no ugly. One perfectly good title down the tubes.

It was a blast. There’s an orientation before every party for first-timers, which makes sure the rules are known before entering the playspace. As for the playspace, all I can say is: Wow. Just wow.

And that thing about not playing during the first party, just observing? Yeah. Right. That lasted about an hour and a half. *grin*

I can’t go into a great deal of detail about the space or the people because I have no sort of permission from any of the participants to do so, but a few things I saw:

  • Some beautiful, beautiful clothing. I want a corset more than ever now.
  • Some beautiful, beautiful people, male and female alike. Many of the beautiful, strong, sensuous dominant women there? Larger women. Gorgeous.
  • A feeding scene. Not my kink personally, but fascinating to watch.
  • CBT performed on a couple of amazingly tough gentlemen.
  • A wonderful foot-fetish scene.
  • Some wonderful toys I’d never seen before. An evil stick? Gods, who came up with this thing? Instant welt, every time. I want one.

And some things I did:

  • Learned to lace a corset. A waist cincher, to be exact. Got her down to about 22.5 inches.
  • Learned a tiny bit of shibari. More just a little bit of the idea behind shibari, but it counts.
  • Used a riding crop for the first time. Love it.
  • Gave birthday spankings to an attractive gentleman I’d just met that evening (‘spankings’ is a relative term. There was a riding crop involved).
  • Flogged, scratched, bit, admired the ass of, and cropped a lovely young man that I’d never even spoken to (I was brought in as a third top for this lucky guy).

That’s a quick overview of it, of course, but it gives a basic idea of the excellent first experience I had. I really and truly hope I reflected well on my ‘sponsors’ (SC and FM; they’ve been members of this group for a good while now). I tried not to come off as too much of a tourist, but I don’t know how successful I was. There was so much to see!

I do have to admit, by the time midnight rolled around, I was a little overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, but there was just a great deal to process.

It was like Disneyland for pervs. Awesome. :)

Obligatory PSA

August 10, 2008

So you wouldn’t really think we’d still need to educate on safer sex in this day and age, with knowledge at your fingertips in the form of the internet. Problem is, people need to realize that they need the knowledge before they’ll search for it.

I’ve talked to a few people in the past couple of years that have been lacking in knowledge of certain safer sex practices; and just as important, the why behind them. These were not dumb people, mind you. I tend not to take people without brains well and simply won’t deal with them. These have been intelligent, well-read people.

Talking to one of these people, I was told that std education in the military branch they were in consisted of ‘This is what this std looks like. Don’t get it.’. And y’know, when I thought back on it, that’s really what std education in school was as well. Until just a few years ago, I didn’t know a great deal. Even as of a year or two ago, I had some misconceptions.

Therefore, I’m doing a PSA here dealing with the subject.

The reason this is a big thing for me is that I have oral HSV(herpes simplex virus)1. I’m using that term first because simply saying ‘I get cold sores’ minimizes it. Yes, I get cold sores. I’ve been getting them since I was a kid. Lots of people get ’em. I’m going to focus on this particular virus because, well, it’s the one I’m concerned about passing on. Maybe later there’ll be more PSAs along this vein. We’ll see.

I have done a lot of reading, and unfortunately, the ‘facts’ vary depending on the age of the study, the writer, and the population surveyed. From the amount of reading I’ve done, I’ve sifted through and gotten a good idea about what the probable facts are.

Here we go:
-Depending on who you listen to, anywhere from 80%-90% of the adult population has antibodies for HSV1. This means they’ve at least been exposed to the virus.

-Even if you are not experiencing an outbreak (don’t have actual cold sores or the tingly feeling beforehand), you can still pass it on. The chances are insanely low, but the chance is still there.

-Some sources say that if you have HSV1 you can’t get HSV2. Some say the chances are lower, but you can still get it. Some say the whole thing’s hooey and it doesn’t make a difference. I personally am going to assume it’s hooey and protect myself anyway.

-Oral HSV1 can be spread genitally. The chances are lower because it’s not the favored ‘home area’ of the virus, but any chance is a chance.

-If you do get HSV1 (orally or otherwise), you may never actually have an outbreak. The outbreak may be so mild you don’t feel it. You may mistake the outbreak for something else. In any case, it is still transmissible.

Here’s the deal, in a nutshell: If you get cold sores, you have some kind of HSV. Get tested. Hell, even if you don’t, get tested. I got a full STD panel a couple of months ago, and even though I knew I was going to come up clear other than the HSV1, it was still an enormous weight off to get the results.

If you do turn up positive with HSV1, y’know what? It’s cold sores. It’s a mild skin infection. Big deal. Your responsibility is to talk to your partners. When I even feel like I might be getting a sore, I tell any friends close enough to need the warning not to kiss me until it heals or the feeling passes. So I go a few days without kissing. I’ll survive. As for oral sex: “Just to let you know, I get cold sores. I don’t get outbreaks often, but I wanted to tell you so we can make informed decisions.” If your partners aren’t educated about the risks, by all means educate!

Then, between you, you can weigh the risks. Best practice is to always use barriers (condoms, dental dams) for oral in that case, but some people decide to forgo that. Whatever decisions you make, make sure they’re intelligent ones.

At very very least, if you don’t feel like you can talk to your partners about it (at this point you have to think about why you can’t talk about things like this, but that’s outside the scope of this post), at very least use barriers. Just tell them you feel more comfortable when you use them.

You have to remember that safety has to come first. Safer sex practices are key, especially when you’re dealing with poly/kinky situations…the health of more than just two people ends up being involved.

Barriers are your friends. Condoms, dental dams, latex gloves…use ’em and love ’em. Unless you and your partner have both had clean std panels since the last time either of you have had sexual contact with anyone else (and even then, things can take time to show up), keep yourself safe.

You see, people lie. Your partner may be lying about having been tested, or about the results; their previous partners may have lied about theirs. You simply don’t know. Keep it safe.

This PSA brought to you by the Long-Winded Newbie.

How the Other Half Lives

August 6, 2008

This is going up on my Fetlife journal as well.

Last night, I got my first real flogging…and I still haven’t completely wrapped my head around it. Not in a bad way, mind you. There was just a lot to process and I’m still working on that.

CK came over and I cooked dinner. We do this once or twice a week, and it often leads to snuggling. Last night I happened to have the toys SC graciously let me borrow out on the counter, and the boy grabbed the big deerskin one and playfully tapped me on the backside with it. I grinned and said “After dinner.”

So, after dinner, we ended up snuggling as is the norm; we started playing around a bit, biting and scratching (also the norm) a little. Finally he ended up biting me on the back of the neck (very, very hard), which throws me extremely quickly into a very bottomy mood (I hesitate to use the word submissive, though that may actually be closer.). And then he made me…

…a milkshake. ;) No, that’s not where it ends, but the timing was amusing. *grin* We enjoyed the shakes while we talked a little about topping and bottoming and what we wanted out of each…then once we both knew what page we were on, he stood me up and started in.

I leaned up against the counter in a similar position to the one CK had been in when I topped him. He grabbed the large, soft deerskin flogger first, and started lightly on my back. Very soft feeling, that one…like the brush of a hand. When using anything other than just the tips of the lashes, this one was much more of a thud. I started to relax under the softness of the blows, and then they started to vary in location (back, ass and thighs rather than just my back)and strength. He landed a few just at the end that were much harder and nearly felt like a thumping fist.

Then he switched to the mid-sized one, the bullhide. _That_ one stung. ;) It could also slap, and CK again varied his blows to show me the difference in the sensations. While the deerskin one felt interesting, I enjoyed the bullhide more; it was harsher. He was also able to put a little more muscle behind this one, I think.

Then he switched to the smallest one, the little suede-lace cat that I enjoyed using on him so much…and wow. I understand why he was twitching and growling more with the little one than the larger ones. This one _stung_, and it was _amazingly_ pleasant. He worked with this one for a while, then said he was going to switch back to the deerskin as a closer.

Y’know what? On warm, tingling skin that’s been worked over a little with some nice stingy toys, that soft deerskin flogger has a little more impact. ;) He also had me change position a bit to get to my ass and thighs a bit more easily, and I think I jumped at least once when the strands wrapped to my inner thigh (wasn’t a bad jump, mind ya).

Once we were done, we cuddled on the couch (I found myself in an _incredibly_ snuggly mood after). It had only been a short period of time (maybe fifteen minutes or so?), but I was pretty surprised at how I felt. It wasn’t a full-fledged floaty high like I’ve heard a lot of bottoms talk about, but it definitely had the edges of it, and it was a _lot_ of fun . I got petted and snuggled and we talked about what we each got out of the experience, and what we wanted to do next time (he’s already started planning…this should be fun *grin*).

Today, I found myself thinking about the scene often during the workday. My back is unmarked other than a couple of bites and one nail-mark from where I was scratched (I also have bite-bruises on the back of my neck and both arms, all pleasantly sore. Did I mention the boy bites?), but I still remember the feeling of super-sensitized skin after playtime was over. I can see how someone could get hooked on this feeling…

CK and I are looking for different things when we play, and also different things depending on what role we happen to be taking. It’s an interesting dynamic, and one I for one am going to enjoy exploring.

So there you are. Another first. I still want to try a singletail (both ends of it!), but I’m trying to take babysteps. ;)

Again, too tired to really write..

August 6, 2008

But sometimes you just have to share (or maybe it’s brag, I’m not sure which).

I blogged last week about giving my first real flogging…if I can wrap my brain around it, tomorrow night I’ll be posting about receiving my first real flogging. *nod* Same boy, just a change in mood for both of us.

No arguments here…

Project Time!

August 4, 2008

So…I seem to have acquired a potentially expensive new hobby.

There’s a lot of sites out there dealing with everyday pervertibles (I’m not sure if this term actually belongs to someone, but I’m borrowing it) and DIY BDSM toys and equipment, and I’ve decided to take advantage of ’em. This is either going to be really good or really frightening. *grin*

A little suede lace cat should be easy to make, from what I can tell. Rope floggers look relatively simple as well. The more complex leather things…those I’ll just save up for. I’m going to try to get a little creative with it and see what I come up with.

When I come up with something really good, I’ll post it. And simply to be fair, when I come up with something really bad, I’ll post it too. ;) Gotta have some humor.

If anyone has any unique ideas, let’s hear them!

Pics, Finally

August 2, 2008

So, as promised, a couple of pictures from the scene I wrote up in the last post. There’s only a few, for a few reasons. First, I was a little busy at the time and didn’t want to stop and take photos. ;) Second, it’s a camera phone, and while it happens to be a decent one, some of the shots didn’t come out very well. Third, in cropping for anonymity, at least one of the shots would have simply not ended up looking good.

So, please enjoy the ones I do have.

The first shot is of CK in the hogtie and cuffs. Sorry ladies, yes, he did keep his pants on. I think he was wary of my newbieness and the possibility of stray shots to tender areas. ;) The wrist cuffs he’s wearing are his; the ankles are my little velcro beginner cuffs. The weird light is from a little light-up toy SC brought; it’s plastic, pointy, and can be used for a very light cane-like effect.

This one is a shot of his back after the leather floggers (but before the harsher stuff SC demonstrated). I like how you can see the streaks from individual strands.

From one of our silly moments: Pointy things can be fun. Yes, that is a smiley face. We also played tic-tac-toe elsewhere on his back, but I didn’t get a shot of that (keep in mind, this was simply a non-sharp pointy plastic thing…no bottoms were harmed in the making of this post. Cuttings aren’t for a 101 class. That’s for later. ;)).

It was a good, informative, just plain fun night. It wasn’t a hardcore intensive scene, but I think it was a good one nonetheless.

Free bonus picture:

My cat apparently likes the dragon’s tongue. He couldn’t leave it alone…

More About the Lesson

July 31, 2008

(Edit: The Boy has decided that instead of being referred to as the boy, he wants to be called CK. Works for me. Less typing. :) So going forward, CK=the boy. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post.)

Last night was a very interesting technical ‘class’ on BDSM in general and the specifics surrounding a scene. This post isn’t going to make for a very titillating read; instead it’s going to go over some things I learned, some things I noticed, and how I felt about the whole experience. Who knows, titillating or not, you may still find it interesting. Keep reading.

We (SC, the boy and I) gathered at my apartment after we were all done with our respective workdays. We had a lovely dinner of caesar salad with chicken (SC cooks. ;)), and the boy cleaned up the kitchen while SC started telling me about the history of BDSM in America, what the lifestyle means to her, and some safety basics. We’d had conversations about safety and etiquette before in passing, but a little reinforcement is never a bad thing.

Then SC and the boy went through a mock-negotiation, as if they’d never met, so I could get a feel for the amount of information generally exchanged…it may sound silly, but it was actually quite helpful. While they were doing that and I listened, I rummaged through the toys.

Because we’d already negotiated beforehand that I wasn’t going to be using any singletails without some non-human-body practice, I didn’t use a couple of the pretty pretty toys she brought. But I did admire them. ;) I picked out a few floggers to play with (the ones pictured in the previous post).

First, we blindfolded the boy and hogtied him (Side note: the boy looks amazingly hot in cuffs, and he really enjoys wearing them). Due to an old injury he can’t stay in that position for long, but I started on him with the blue and black flogger after a brief instruction from SC. After a few minutes, we got him up and leaned him against the counter, hands cuffed in front.

Since this was my first time playing with toys with any reach, SC arranged a towel around the boy’s neck to protect his face just in case I made any accidental wrap-shots; not a bad precaution considering I don’t have any experience in trying to aim. I also learned to watch the backswing; if you’re not careful, you can hit your damn fool self. *grin*

After getting the feel of the heft and swing of the longer, softer toy, I switched to the one that I really thought would be roughest (the one at the top of the photo). The strands are thicker and harder leather, though still marvelously flexible. This one did get a better reaction and was easier to wield, as the strands didn’t get tangled as easily. The relative lightness also allowed for swifter strikes.

Then I moved on to the smallest of the floggers. It’s basically a number of thin suede laces wrapped together (it looks amazingly easy to make, and I will so be making one). This one was fun. Nice marks, each strand leaving its own red streak on his back…this one got the most pleasant growls out of the boy, as I mentioned before.

Keep in mind, this wasn’t all grim and serious; completely the opposite. We were having fun. There was giggling and tickling and SC broke out ice cubes at one point (now that was fun); there were jokes and it was just all around a good time.

After this, SC demonstrated the safe use of a singletail and a few other impact toys, including a dragon’s tongue (oh, I so want one of these) and a length of light chain. After that we called it. The boy got snuggled and petted and hugged, and slowly he came down from the rush. After SC left, the boy and I snuggled on the couch and talked about idle things, relaxing.

A few interesting things I noted about myself during this:
When SC wasn’t actively demonstrating, I found myself becoming alternately hyperfocused on the boy’s back as if it were a canvas that I was painting and hyperaware of his reactions. It was a little strange, actually; the boy’s very stoic, and I know from experience that if he actually makes a noise it’s either very good or very bad, and I found myself pausing at each sound he made trying to determine which it was. I think that pausing too much actually interrupted the rhythm of the flogging and probably wasn’t the best thing I could have done. I probably should have trusted him to know his limits and call yellow if he needed to, but I was overthinking it. I’ll ask the boy his thoughts next time I see him.

Also, I realized that after the scene, I was feeling extremely protective of the boy. Not possessive, but protective. I felt like I needed to make sure he was okay. That’s not our normal dynamic, but it felt natural. I also felt more of a need to touch him than normal. Nothing too out there, just a hand on his shoulder or his arm, and if I had to step away for a moment I’d move back as soon as possible. Odd.

Finally, when we were snuggling on the couch afterward, we were doing our usual bantering/wrestling, and he tried one of his usual maneuvers. To explain: generally, even if I’m not in a submissive frame of mind, there are a couple of triggers that will put me there. He’s learned ’em. So when he wants to get his way, he’ll usually slide his fingers through my hair at the back of my neck and grip a handful (hard!). This usually makes me stop anything I’m doing or saying, gasp, and simply wait for whatever…
So he tried this maneuver. It didn’t do a damn thing. I simply said “That’s not doing what it normally does.” grinned, and pulled his hand away. I found that pretty interesting, actually.

Anyway…amazingly long post later, that was my evening. Hope it was at least vaguely interesting.

Topping for Dummies

July 31, 2008

So I got my lesson this evening, and y’know what? That was a lot of fun.

Simply because I am a newbie and I knew my aim would be crap, we agreed that there would be no singletails. I did, however, enjoy the hell out of using some floggers, as you’ll see in this pic to the left.

Looking at them and hefting them, I knew the blue one would be the least intense. It’s soft, but can still sting. I really figured the heavy thick leather one (the one in the top in the pic) would be the most intense. Instead, it turned out to be the smallish one in the middle that made the most marks (and got the most growly noises out of the boy ;)).

I’m pretty wiped out and I have to work early in the morning, so there’ll be more of a post tomorrow. Just figured I’d get a little semi-post up for now. I’m also going to see if the boy minds me posting a picture or two I took (even though they don’t show his face, there’s no way I’m posting them without his okay).

So I’m off to bed, relaxed and happy. More tomorrow.

Topping for Dummies

July 27, 2008

So I talked to SC, and we scheduled a ‘Topping 101-safe and effective use of impact toys’ class with The Boy as test subject. Wednesday night is gonna be interesting.

She’s going to be the ideal teacher for this, because she’s been in the scene for a lot of years now; not sure exactly how many years, but they number in at least the teens. He’s going to be an ideal test subject, because…well, he’s a pain slut. :) The only problem is when I play with someone else I’m going to have to learn to dial _down_ until I know what they can take; The Boy has a huge pain tolerance.

But…this is actually a pretty big step in my real-life learning. You can read, research, and be told all about impact play, but hands-on (as it were) experience is a different animal.

My only worry is that I’m not going to have the talent for it. I get the impression that topping someone isn’t all about technical skill, but that there’s talent involved too…we’ll see how it goes.

If this does end up happening Wednesday (real life can always intervene, of course, and push the lesson to a different time), I’ll write up a post for it. If there are any pretty marks, I’ll see if I can get some pics. ;)