Archive for the ‘a little pain never hurt anybody’ Category

Pervertibles, First Installment!

October 8, 2008

I’d like to make this a semi-regular installment on this blog. We’ll see how it goes.

The word ‘pervertible’ is not a word I coined, but my personal definition of it is this: something that is marketed as a mundane item that can be used in a decidedly different, and kinky, way.

I consider it different from DIY. Pervertibles are things that are usable as they are, or with very minor alterations. The DIY stuff consists of toys made from other things, if you get the distinction.

This first installment will consist of things I’ve already picked up, where I got the item and approximate pricing. The ones I’ve used I’ll review. ;) 

1. Dish Brush. Dollar Tree. $1.

This worked really well. The wide head full of stiff bristles got nice squirming, and the little bitty area of even stiffer scrubbing bristles on the backside (when I wrote this, I meant backside of the brush, but backside of the victim works in this context too. :)) got even more. This experiment was a success.

2. Mini-Duster. Dollar Tree. $1.

I figured this for a tickling kind of toy, but it wasn’t as effective as I’d hoped. I may go for a second test run of it with a different bottom (and different body parts). 

3. Flipper. Dollar Tree. $1. 

This was a fun one. *grin* It’s hard plastic, but just very slightly flexible. It gets a nice snap on various body parts. This was a very good success. 

4. Wooden ‘paddle’. Craft store. < $1.

This thing was even labeled ‘paddle’! Very nice, very stingy, completely nondescript. Another success.

5. Various and sundry clothespins, pegs, and clamps. Dollar Tree. $1 each pack. (cat not included)

Wow, these worked well. I’d never played with these guys before Saturday night (either on myself or others). I used the metal ones on DB for just a few minutes (he hadn’t used any quite that tight before). When they did finally come off and the blood started coming back…that was fun to watch. *grin* Now, the wooden ones: CK and I were doing a little playing last night(not a full-on scene, just a little fun) and he dragged ’em out. All I have to say is: wooooow. Best buck I ever spent. My nipples are still sore and supersensitive. I think I may coat the bitey end of a few of the wooden ones in tool dip for easier cleaning (in case I end up using ’em somewhere other than nipples. *grin*). Big success!

6. Loofah glove. Dollar Tree. $1.

Mildly scratchy surface. I haven’t used this one yet, but I think it’ll be interesting when I do.

7. Handled cutting board. Old Pottery (inexpensive kitchen/decorative stuff). $1.99.  

This is going to be a very effective paddle, I think. *grins evilly* I find myself walking through dollar stores, craft stores and kitchen stores smacking various things as subtly as possible against my thigh to test its pervertibility quotient. ;) This was my latest treasure.

Like I said, I hope to make this at least a semi-regular thing. I’ll post websites as I find them. If any of you have any ideas or interesting sites, send ’em my way! There’s an email link below. Pictures are always welcome, and I’ll include any submissions in a future installment, credited to the submitter. :)

Impromptu Playparty! (part one)

October 5, 2008

The playparty I went to in August was put on by a group in a city a few hours away from where I live. One of the young men that was there (we’ll call him DB) that evening came down to visit SC and FM, and it was decided that there would be an impromptu play night. 

There’s a gentleman here in town that has a wonderful dungeon setup in his home, and he graciously allowed us use of it.  When we got there, there were three male subs, SC, and me.  I was a little apprehensive, because I’d only played in public once before, and I have so far been a bit of a lightweight when topping (publicly or privately). I’ve been mildly worried that I wasn’t cut out for it…

Well, I’m no longer worried. I think I held my own relatively well. *grin* I used some of my own toys and some of SC’s as well, starting with my homemade vampire glove…this seems to be a great starting toy. It sensitized the hell out of DB’s skin, which made everything else ever so much fun.  Between SC and myself, DB got topped for about four hours. The boy’s a tank. He got flogged, whipped (I got to use a dragon’s tongue for the first time), scratched, bitten, clamped (the metal clips from the dollar store run got some use), caned, and spanked…and had no complaints. 

Remember my blog post about the first play party, and how I said I really wanted an evil stick? Well, I got to use one, and I reaaally want one now.  Other toys I saw that I lust after: stocks, a bondage chair with metal shackles, and a paddle with the word ‘slut’ written in reverse on the face. Hit somebody just right, and the word imprints itself on the body part whacked. More about that on HNT. ;)

I also got to play with my newfound rope addiction, making cuffs and a body harness for FM, who kept laughing and saying it was scary how fast I was picking things up. CK got there a little later, but wasn’t really in the right headspace to actually play.  I think he still had fun watching for the rest of the evening after we shackled him into the chair. ;)

On a silly note, while DB was shackled and I was beating the hell out of him, I leaned over his shoulder, bit him, and said “Cake or death?”.  He started laughing and responded properly: “Cake, please!”  Me: “Well, we’re out of cake!” Him: “So my choice is ‘or death’?”. You have to love an Eddie Izzard fan, and throughout the evening the references kept coming. *grin*

For your visual pleasure, an ass ravaged by the evil stick (posted with DB’s permission): 

And yeah, the evil stick stings…a lot. More about that on HNT as well. ;)

The night was great fun. Hopefully there’ll be more fun in the future. 

Thoughts About Submission

August 31, 2008

Before I started researching BDSM and talking to more people in the lifestyle, I used to refer to some of my moods as ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’. After the research, I actually amended that. I really tend to be more ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ than ‘dom’ or ‘sub’. I can be dominant or submissive for a period of time, but I’m not either on a permanent basis.

Last night CK and I had a playdate. Any play we’ve done before has been almost impromptu, short, and not extremely intense. This was a full-blown planned and anticipated scene as opposed to the casual nature of our other playtimes. The anticipation, I found, really put me in an interesting frame of mind. It seemed to do the same for him, if I were to judge by the intensity of the scene.

He called me before he came over to talk about dinner plans, and then he says, “I think I’m going to put a gag on you tonight.”. I think I actually paused before answering “Oo-kay.”. The idea seemed kind of out of the blue, and I’ve never worn a gag (or even really thought about it) before. He followed up with, “What do you think about that? Is that all right?”. I replied with, “I’ll try anything once.” and then we talked about other things.

When he came over, we ate dinner and talked, and then playtime started. As I’m sure I’ve mentioned a dozen times before, CK bites. He was in more of a biting mood than usual and he was much more physical about it than usual, grabbing me and restraining me with hands and body while he sank his teeth into my back, my shoulders, and my neck. I was already breathless by the time he moved me where he wanted me. He pulled a bit gag out of his bag and asked me again if I was okay with it. I nodded, but I was oddly hesitant. I really don’t know why I was hesitant about it…it was strange. I agreed to try it, though. He turned me around and fitted the gag in my mouth, buckling it under my hair. While I was facing away from him, he ran a hand over my back and then bit me again, hard. I could still make as much noise as I wanted, but couldn’t articulate.

CK stripped me down to my underwear, had me lean against the counter, and raked his nails over my back several times (that always makes me shiver). He then turned me around and asked if I was still okay. I nodded slowly. At this point he just stared at me for a moment, stroking my hair, and I stared back. I was almost trembling, and we hadn’t even really started yet. He jokingly bemoaned the fact that his camera batteries were dead, because (and I quote) “You look really hot in that.”. He turned me back around and started grabbing floggers out of my bag.

Right then, I really felt more vulnerable than I have in a long time. My hands and feet were free, I wasn’t restrained in any way other than by CK telling me where to put my feet and hands. Standing there nearly naked, gagged, skin already tingling from the marks of nails and teeth, I felt exposed, vulnerable, and I enjoyed every second of it.

The flogging itself I won’t go into a play-by-play on for the simple reason that it would get dull fast. I will say that the rope flogger I made with the three knots on each strand? When used with force, it leaves a gathering of welts that turns into a gathering of tiny bruises. It’s harsh. That one, the bootlace flogger, and the large red and black ones are the ones that made me squeal and writhe the most. CK likes the heaviness of the red and black one, while I like the sharp sting of the bootlace. After a while, he removed the gag; he didn’t want it to get too uncomfortable my first time wearing it.

Finally he stopped a little abruptly, changed the tone of the music (he’d set up a soundtrack; heavier music for the scene itself and quieter music for cooling down), and lightly started stroking my back. When it got through my somewhat fuddled mind that we were done, I protested lightly “We’re done? Aw…” and “I could go longer…”, but didn’t push it when he drew me over to the couch to sit.

See, a while back, I told CK I wanted to take baby steps, and asked him to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t go too far too fast and do anything stupid. I apparently jumped in a way that made him really look closely at me, and he decided I’d had enough. He was right, I’m sure, but at that moment he could have suggested damn near anything and I would have agreed. “Wanna try flesh hook suspension with dinner forks?” “Oh sure! sounds like fun!!”. *snicker* So yeah, it’s good to have someone that’s actually keeping a watch. I’d lost track of time, it seems. I thought it had been maybe fifteen minutes, and it had been nearly an hour.

Now, coming back to the title of the post. When CK has topped me in the past (either the two mini-scenes or the many times we’d just played around with teeth and nails and flesh), I never really felt truly submissive. Bottom-y, yes, but not really submissive. If someone bites me on the back of the neck or tugs my hair just right, it puts me in a somewhat submissive mood, but that only goes so far. When he put that bit in my mouth and buckled it tight, it put me straight into a very submissive headspace. Even though my hands were free, I would never have thought about removing it unless I had permission to do so. It was a strange and almost scary feeling, and it took me a while thinking about it afterward to process.

I ultimately concluded that I liked the feeling, that headspace, at least tentatively. ;) It’s something I’m curious about exploring in the future. I’m also wondering if that was a one-time thing or if being gagged like that will always put me into that submissive space.

CK had fun too; he’s normally the one doing the bottoming, and these playtimes give him a chance to let out his top/sadistic side. I think he’s enjoying exploring that side of himself.

In any case…it was amazingly fun, I’m amazingly sore, and I have some amazingly cool bitemarks. If I can get the boy back over before they fade, I’ll try to get some pics. They’re not in spots that I can photograph successfully.

Anybody else have odd triggers like that, or notice a difference between bottom-space and subspace? Am I overthinking things (because I do tend to do that)? Anybody want to massage a sore back and ass? ;)

Owies.

August 19, 2008

Did I mention the boy bites? Deep, strong bites. On me, when it starts to bruise this quickly, it’s gonna be around for a while. It hurt like a motherfucker…and it felt so good.

Today it’s sore. Every time I flex my shoulder and back muscles just right, I can feel the deeper bites like muscles sore from exercise. And I even enjoy this soreness.

When he bites, CK tends to hold me so I can’t move. Last night I let myself struggle a little bit; not enough that I was going to actually break away, but enough that he had to work a bit to hold on. The struggle wasn’t a complaint. I sometimes just like to test the strength of whatever (in this case, whomever) is restraining me. I could tell from the boy’s reactions that he liked that small bit of resistance. I think it surprised him (both that I liked to struggle and that he enjoyed it as well)…surprised me a bit too.

I thought both reactions were interesting…and now I’m curious. That’s how things always start…

First Play Party: Wow.

August 17, 2008

It was actually hard coming up with a title for this post. The first thing that popped into my head was humorous, of course (it wouldn’t be me, otherwise) : “First Play Party: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”. Problem is, there was no bad and no ugly. One perfectly good title down the tubes.

It was a blast. There’s an orientation before every party for first-timers, which makes sure the rules are known before entering the playspace. As for the playspace, all I can say is: Wow. Just wow.

And that thing about not playing during the first party, just observing? Yeah. Right. That lasted about an hour and a half. *grin*

I can’t go into a great deal of detail about the space or the people because I have no sort of permission from any of the participants to do so, but a few things I saw:

  • Some beautiful, beautiful clothing. I want a corset more than ever now.
  • Some beautiful, beautiful people, male and female alike. Many of the beautiful, strong, sensuous dominant women there? Larger women. Gorgeous.
  • A feeding scene. Not my kink personally, but fascinating to watch.
  • CBT performed on a couple of amazingly tough gentlemen.
  • A wonderful foot-fetish scene.
  • Some wonderful toys I’d never seen before. An evil stick? Gods, who came up with this thing? Instant welt, every time. I want one.

And some things I did:

  • Learned to lace a corset. A waist cincher, to be exact. Got her down to about 22.5 inches.
  • Learned a tiny bit of shibari. More just a little bit of the idea behind shibari, but it counts.
  • Used a riding crop for the first time. Love it.
  • Gave birthday spankings to an attractive gentleman I’d just met that evening (‘spankings’ is a relative term. There was a riding crop involved).
  • Flogged, scratched, bit, admired the ass of, and cropped a lovely young man that I’d never even spoken to (I was brought in as a third top for this lucky guy).

That’s a quick overview of it, of course, but it gives a basic idea of the excellent first experience I had. I really and truly hope I reflected well on my ‘sponsors’ (SC and FM; they’ve been members of this group for a good while now). I tried not to come off as too much of a tourist, but I don’t know how successful I was. There was so much to see!

I do have to admit, by the time midnight rolled around, I was a little overwhelmed. Not in a bad way, but there was just a great deal to process.

It was like Disneyland for pervs. Awesome. :)

How the Other Half Lives

August 6, 2008

This is going up on my Fetlife journal as well.

Last night, I got my first real flogging…and I still haven’t completely wrapped my head around it. Not in a bad way, mind you. There was just a lot to process and I’m still working on that.

CK came over and I cooked dinner. We do this once or twice a week, and it often leads to snuggling. Last night I happened to have the toys SC graciously let me borrow out on the counter, and the boy grabbed the big deerskin one and playfully tapped me on the backside with it. I grinned and said “After dinner.”

So, after dinner, we ended up snuggling as is the norm; we started playing around a bit, biting and scratching (also the norm) a little. Finally he ended up biting me on the back of the neck (very, very hard), which throws me extremely quickly into a very bottomy mood (I hesitate to use the word submissive, though that may actually be closer.). And then he made me…

…a milkshake. ;) No, that’s not where it ends, but the timing was amusing. *grin* We enjoyed the shakes while we talked a little about topping and bottoming and what we wanted out of each…then once we both knew what page we were on, he stood me up and started in.

I leaned up against the counter in a similar position to the one CK had been in when I topped him. He grabbed the large, soft deerskin flogger first, and started lightly on my back. Very soft feeling, that one…like the brush of a hand. When using anything other than just the tips of the lashes, this one was much more of a thud. I started to relax under the softness of the blows, and then they started to vary in location (back, ass and thighs rather than just my back)and strength. He landed a few just at the end that were much harder and nearly felt like a thumping fist.

Then he switched to the mid-sized one, the bullhide. _That_ one stung. ;) It could also slap, and CK again varied his blows to show me the difference in the sensations. While the deerskin one felt interesting, I enjoyed the bullhide more; it was harsher. He was also able to put a little more muscle behind this one, I think.

Then he switched to the smallest one, the little suede-lace cat that I enjoyed using on him so much…and wow. I understand why he was twitching and growling more with the little one than the larger ones. This one _stung_, and it was _amazingly_ pleasant. He worked with this one for a while, then said he was going to switch back to the deerskin as a closer.

Y’know what? On warm, tingling skin that’s been worked over a little with some nice stingy toys, that soft deerskin flogger has a little more impact. ;) He also had me change position a bit to get to my ass and thighs a bit more easily, and I think I jumped at least once when the strands wrapped to my inner thigh (wasn’t a bad jump, mind ya).

Once we were done, we cuddled on the couch (I found myself in an _incredibly_ snuggly mood after). It had only been a short period of time (maybe fifteen minutes or so?), but I was pretty surprised at how I felt. It wasn’t a full-fledged floaty high like I’ve heard a lot of bottoms talk about, but it definitely had the edges of it, and it was a _lot_ of fun . I got petted and snuggled and we talked about what we each got out of the experience, and what we wanted to do next time (he’s already started planning…this should be fun *grin*).

Today, I found myself thinking about the scene often during the workday. My back is unmarked other than a couple of bites and one nail-mark from where I was scratched (I also have bite-bruises on the back of my neck and both arms, all pleasantly sore. Did I mention the boy bites?), but I still remember the feeling of super-sensitized skin after playtime was over. I can see how someone could get hooked on this feeling…

CK and I are looking for different things when we play, and also different things depending on what role we happen to be taking. It’s an interesting dynamic, and one I for one am going to enjoy exploring.

So there you are. Another first. I still want to try a singletail (both ends of it!), but I’m trying to take babysteps. ;)

Again, too tired to really write..

August 6, 2008

But sometimes you just have to share (or maybe it’s brag, I’m not sure which).

I blogged last week about giving my first real flogging…if I can wrap my brain around it, tomorrow night I’ll be posting about receiving my first real flogging. *nod* Same boy, just a change in mood for both of us.

No arguments here…

Pics, Finally

August 2, 2008

So, as promised, a couple of pictures from the scene I wrote up in the last post. There’s only a few, for a few reasons. First, I was a little busy at the time and didn’t want to stop and take photos. ;) Second, it’s a camera phone, and while it happens to be a decent one, some of the shots didn’t come out very well. Third, in cropping for anonymity, at least one of the shots would have simply not ended up looking good.

So, please enjoy the ones I do have.

The first shot is of CK in the hogtie and cuffs. Sorry ladies, yes, he did keep his pants on. I think he was wary of my newbieness and the possibility of stray shots to tender areas. ;) The wrist cuffs he’s wearing are his; the ankles are my little velcro beginner cuffs. The weird light is from a little light-up toy SC brought; it’s plastic, pointy, and can be used for a very light cane-like effect.

This one is a shot of his back after the leather floggers (but before the harsher stuff SC demonstrated). I like how you can see the streaks from individual strands.

From one of our silly moments: Pointy things can be fun. Yes, that is a smiley face. We also played tic-tac-toe elsewhere on his back, but I didn’t get a shot of that (keep in mind, this was simply a non-sharp pointy plastic thing…no bottoms were harmed in the making of this post. Cuttings aren’t for a 101 class. That’s for later. ;)).

It was a good, informative, just plain fun night. It wasn’t a hardcore intensive scene, but I think it was a good one nonetheless.

Free bonus picture:

My cat apparently likes the dragon’s tongue. He couldn’t leave it alone…

More About the Lesson

July 31, 2008

(Edit: The Boy has decided that instead of being referred to as the boy, he wants to be called CK. Works for me. Less typing. :) So going forward, CK=the boy. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post.)

Last night was a very interesting technical ‘class’ on BDSM in general and the specifics surrounding a scene. This post isn’t going to make for a very titillating read; instead it’s going to go over some things I learned, some things I noticed, and how I felt about the whole experience. Who knows, titillating or not, you may still find it interesting. Keep reading.

We (SC, the boy and I) gathered at my apartment after we were all done with our respective workdays. We had a lovely dinner of caesar salad with chicken (SC cooks. ;)), and the boy cleaned up the kitchen while SC started telling me about the history of BDSM in America, what the lifestyle means to her, and some safety basics. We’d had conversations about safety and etiquette before in passing, but a little reinforcement is never a bad thing.

Then SC and the boy went through a mock-negotiation, as if they’d never met, so I could get a feel for the amount of information generally exchanged…it may sound silly, but it was actually quite helpful. While they were doing that and I listened, I rummaged through the toys.

Because we’d already negotiated beforehand that I wasn’t going to be using any singletails without some non-human-body practice, I didn’t use a couple of the pretty pretty toys she brought. But I did admire them. ;) I picked out a few floggers to play with (the ones pictured in the previous post).

First, we blindfolded the boy and hogtied him (Side note: the boy looks amazingly hot in cuffs, and he really enjoys wearing them). Due to an old injury he can’t stay in that position for long, but I started on him with the blue and black flogger after a brief instruction from SC. After a few minutes, we got him up and leaned him against the counter, hands cuffed in front.

Since this was my first time playing with toys with any reach, SC arranged a towel around the boy’s neck to protect his face just in case I made any accidental wrap-shots; not a bad precaution considering I don’t have any experience in trying to aim. I also learned to watch the backswing; if you’re not careful, you can hit your damn fool self. *grin*

After getting the feel of the heft and swing of the longer, softer toy, I switched to the one that I really thought would be roughest (the one at the top of the photo). The strands are thicker and harder leather, though still marvelously flexible. This one did get a better reaction and was easier to wield, as the strands didn’t get tangled as easily. The relative lightness also allowed for swifter strikes.

Then I moved on to the smallest of the floggers. It’s basically a number of thin suede laces wrapped together (it looks amazingly easy to make, and I will so be making one). This one was fun. Nice marks, each strand leaving its own red streak on his back…this one got the most pleasant growls out of the boy, as I mentioned before.

Keep in mind, this wasn’t all grim and serious; completely the opposite. We were having fun. There was giggling and tickling and SC broke out ice cubes at one point (now that was fun); there were jokes and it was just all around a good time.

After this, SC demonstrated the safe use of a singletail and a few other impact toys, including a dragon’s tongue (oh, I so want one of these) and a length of light chain. After that we called it. The boy got snuggled and petted and hugged, and slowly he came down from the rush. After SC left, the boy and I snuggled on the couch and talked about idle things, relaxing.

A few interesting things I noted about myself during this:
When SC wasn’t actively demonstrating, I found myself becoming alternately hyperfocused on the boy’s back as if it were a canvas that I was painting and hyperaware of his reactions. It was a little strange, actually; the boy’s very stoic, and I know from experience that if he actually makes a noise it’s either very good or very bad, and I found myself pausing at each sound he made trying to determine which it was. I think that pausing too much actually interrupted the rhythm of the flogging and probably wasn’t the best thing I could have done. I probably should have trusted him to know his limits and call yellow if he needed to, but I was overthinking it. I’ll ask the boy his thoughts next time I see him.

Also, I realized that after the scene, I was feeling extremely protective of the boy. Not possessive, but protective. I felt like I needed to make sure he was okay. That’s not our normal dynamic, but it felt natural. I also felt more of a need to touch him than normal. Nothing too out there, just a hand on his shoulder or his arm, and if I had to step away for a moment I’d move back as soon as possible. Odd.

Finally, when we were snuggling on the couch afterward, we were doing our usual bantering/wrestling, and he tried one of his usual maneuvers. To explain: generally, even if I’m not in a submissive frame of mind, there are a couple of triggers that will put me there. He’s learned ’em. So when he wants to get his way, he’ll usually slide his fingers through my hair at the back of my neck and grip a handful (hard!). This usually makes me stop anything I’m doing or saying, gasp, and simply wait for whatever…
So he tried this maneuver. It didn’t do a damn thing. I simply said “That’s not doing what it normally does.” grinned, and pulled his hand away. I found that pretty interesting, actually.

Anyway…amazingly long post later, that was my evening. Hope it was at least vaguely interesting.

Topping for Dummies

July 31, 2008


So I got my lesson this evening, and y’know what? That was a lot of fun.

Simply because I am a newbie and I knew my aim would be crap, we agreed that there would be no singletails. I did, however, enjoy the hell out of using some floggers, as you’ll see in this pic to the left.

Looking at them and hefting them, I knew the blue one would be the least intense. It’s soft, but can still sting. I really figured the heavy thick leather one (the one in the top in the pic) would be the most intense. Instead, it turned out to be the smallish one in the middle that made the most marks (and got the most growly noises out of the boy ;)).

I’m pretty wiped out and I have to work early in the morning, so there’ll be more of a post tomorrow. Just figured I’d get a little semi-post up for now. I’m also going to see if the boy minds me posting a picture or two I took (even though they don’t show his face, there’s no way I’m posting them without his okay).

So I’m off to bed, relaxed and happy. More tomorrow.

Topping for Dummies

July 27, 2008

So I talked to SC, and we scheduled a ‘Topping 101-safe and effective use of impact toys’ class with The Boy as test subject. Wednesday night is gonna be interesting.

She’s going to be the ideal teacher for this, because she’s been in the scene for a lot of years now; not sure exactly how many years, but they number in at least the teens. He’s going to be an ideal test subject, because…well, he’s a pain slut. :) The only problem is when I play with someone else I’m going to have to learn to dial _down_ until I know what they can take; The Boy has a huge pain tolerance.

But…this is actually a pretty big step in my real-life learning. You can read, research, and be told all about impact play, but hands-on (as it were) experience is a different animal.

My only worry is that I’m not going to have the talent for it. I get the impression that topping someone isn’t all about technical skill, but that there’s talent involved too…we’ll see how it goes.

If this does end up happening Wednesday (real life can always intervene, of course, and push the lesson to a different time), I’ll write up a post for it. If there are any pretty marks, I’ll see if I can get some pics. ;)

July 20, 2008

The boy did indeed have fun. It was apparently a mellow party and would have been ideal for a newbie. Grrr. I hate working on the weekends…

He graciously said I could share the picture to the left. He had some quality time with a single-tail… That was taken a couple of hours after the party, and some of the marks have faded by now.

Bruises

July 18, 2008
(easily recognizable tattoo inexpertly covered by good ol’ MSpaint. *beam*)

I apparently bruise easily when bitten. This is a pain in my metaphorical ass.

Shoulders, back, back of the neck, legs, belly, all of these places are fine and I don’t care if I bruise. I actually like having them as a reminder of a fun time. When bruises happen on forearms and such, it’s a little tougher. When you can’t discuss your extracurricular activities with co-workers and some friends, how the hell do you explain the damn things?? *grin*

I’ve read good things about arnica as a bruise healer, so I picked up some ‘Arnicare Gel’. It’s kind of hard to tell if it’s working, though. Maybe I’ll get the boy to bite me twice, side by side; I’ll use the gel on one bruise and not on the other. ;) Gotta have a control in any good scientific experiment!

Any other suggestions for quicker bruise healing would be appreciated. :)

A Minor Dramatis Personae

July 16, 2008

Another thing I’m starting to realize about myself: I seem to have (or have developed) polyamorous leanings. When I was in high school and college, I was very much monogamous and didn’t think there was any other way to be. I was also a jealous person, and my self-esteem was in the toilet.

These days, my self-esteem is far far better, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. Oddly enough, I’m no longer possessive. I really think the two may go hand in hand.

On to the Dramatis Personae (a minor one, as I said; it’s a start):

My first introduction: Almost five years ago I and several of my friends were all very active in a text-based computer game (yes, I’m a MUDder). We ended up meeting many of our fellow players in real life, including several in the same state where I live. One of them was much younger than the majority of the group I hung out with, but he held his own well. When I say much younger, I mean he was barely eighteen at the time, and we were in our late twenties and early thirties.

This young man (I’ll call him WS for the sake of anonymity) asked me out on a date. I liked him as a friend, and thought he’d be a fun bed-partner, but didn’t want to ‘date’ him. He took it well, and went on to have a relationship with a girl close to his own age for a little over a year. After they broke up and right before his next visit (he visited us relatively often) he asked me out again. I said that I wasn’t in a dating mindset at that point and asked for his opinions on casual sex. ;) 20 year old guy, 33 year old woman? Not surprisingly, he thought that was a dandy idea.

Since then, I’ve shared some good quality fun times with this boy every few months when he can make time from his work to visit. He’s mostly vanilla but is willing to try new things; I’m not sure how he’s going to deal with my new desire to ‘kick things up a notch’, as it were. We’ll see.

My other introduction for this post: About two years ago give or take, another couple of friends of mine and I gathered some random players together to start a tabletop RP gaming group. We had some fun people respond, but only one stuck around. The one that stuck around was young, hot, and kinky.

We’ve been casual friends and gaming buddies for a while; in the past few months, things changed and we ended up getting closer. Neither one of us actually wanted to date the other (I’m still not in a dating mindset; I’m very much in a selfish frame of mind right now), but something more casual and relaxed? That works.

Since then there’s been a lot of making out and snuggling, which has been a lot of fun. There’s also been a lot of biting and scratching, which has been a whole different kind of fun. The biting and scratching started out on my end (in fact, I called him my ‘chewtoy’ for a while *grin*), because he responds to being clawed and bitten on his back like most people respond to a gentle massage. Then he turned the tables on me; one day we were snuggled up and relaxing, and he raked his nails –hard!!– over my back while I was in mid-sentence. I stuttered and ended up finishing “…I was saying something…with words…” and couldn’t think for a second or two. The sensation was amazingly pleasant, and the boy took note of my reaction for future use. *snicker*

My Chewtoy has since found an actual girlfriend; luckily, she’s willing to share, to a point. Snuggling’s fine (yay!), pain play is fine (yay!!), but no sex. And y’know, I’m pretty okay with that.

The boy also bites like a freaking pit bull; I’m generally left with lots of bruises on my back, shoulders, and arms when he’s been visiting. The last time he was here, in fact, he bit me twice on the delicate skin of my inner upper arm. The bites weren’t too much harder than normal, but the bruises are _huge_ and look like I’ve been punched.

I was mentioning the other day that ten years ago, I wouldn’t have seen a bunch of bruises as the sign of a good time. More seriously, had I seen a woman sporting bruises like the ones I’ve got now, my first and only thought would have been ‘Abuse!’. Wearing these pretty bruises myself, the reds and blues and greens of healing flesh, I realize that I _enjoy_ these reminders of fun playtime. Visually they’re interesting, and the soreness is a tiny echo of the pleasure that caused them. I seem to be wired more oddly than I originally realized…;)

Y’know, I can actually show off the more interesting marks/bruises here in this blog. It’ll be fun to share ’em with people that will ‘get it’. :)

The Story So Far

July 16, 2008

So far, my travels in the less vanilla world have been quite tame and quite few. Before recently (recently being the past few months), my experiences have mostly amounted to some light bondage with starter velcro cuffs, a lot of conversations with people in the BDSM scene (a good friend of mine has been in the lifestyle for many years), and being allowed to watch a scene or two (I’m very much the voyeur. ;)). I have a small rubber flogger, but until recently it hadn’t actually been used on or by me other than as a light tease, strands running across skin.

My experiences with pain have always been as a spice for sex. Biting and scratching, and me being the one doing most of that; a rare rough grab that would leave bruises on an arm or a leg. I assumed that that was the extent of my enjoyment of pain, but in the past few months I’ve realized that I was wrong. While I enjoyed the mild pain during sex, the sex wasn’t what made it enjoyable…I’ve discovered that I really enjoy pain.

Now, this isn’t to say that if I stub my toe I’m gonna go all gooey and happy. Nope. That shit hurts. But a good hard bite administered in the right place with the right timing? Oh yeah. That little rubber flogger wielded hard enough to sting? Very nice. A handful of hair tugged just right? Makes me crazy.

I’m still kind of coming to terms with that fact. For some reason I always saw enjoying a little pain during sex as “normal” (normal in quotes, because frankly I’ve never been quite normal. ;)). Enjoying pain for the sake of the pain? I really didn’t think that was my thing. Turns out I was wrong. Who knew?

Eventually I’m going to calm down on all the ‘intro posts’, but I’d rather do several subject-specific intros than one gigantic one that nobody’s going to end up finishing. *grin* Besides, the several-post beginning lets me get my thoughts together before each one.

Next: a minor Dramatis Personae.