A Minor Dramatis Personae

Another thing I’m starting to realize about myself: I seem to have (or have developed) polyamorous leanings. When I was in high school and college, I was very much monogamous and didn’t think there was any other way to be. I was also a jealous person, and my self-esteem was in the toilet.

These days, my self-esteem is far far better, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. Oddly enough, I’m no longer possessive. I really think the two may go hand in hand.

On to the Dramatis Personae (a minor one, as I said; it’s a start):

My first introduction: Almost five years ago I and several of my friends were all very active in a text-based computer game (yes, I’m a MUDder). We ended up meeting many of our fellow players in real life, including several in the same state where I live. One of them was much younger than the majority of the group I hung out with, but he held his own well. When I say much younger, I mean he was barely eighteen at the time, and we were in our late twenties and early thirties.

This young man (I’ll call him WS for the sake of anonymity) asked me out on a date. I liked him as a friend, and thought he’d be a fun bed-partner, but didn’t want to ‘date’ him. He took it well, and went on to have a relationship with a girl close to his own age for a little over a year. After they broke up and right before his next visit (he visited us relatively often) he asked me out again. I said that I wasn’t in a dating mindset at that point and asked for his opinions on casual sex. ;) 20 year old guy, 33 year old woman? Not surprisingly, he thought that was a dandy idea.

Since then, I’ve shared some good quality fun times with this boy every few months when he can make time from his work to visit. He’s mostly vanilla but is willing to try new things; I’m not sure how he’s going to deal with my new desire to ‘kick things up a notch’, as it were. We’ll see.

My other introduction for this post: About two years ago give or take, another couple of friends of mine and I gathered some random players together to start a tabletop RP gaming group. We had some fun people respond, but only one stuck around. The one that stuck around was young, hot, and kinky.

We’ve been casual friends and gaming buddies for a while; in the past few months, things changed and we ended up getting closer. Neither one of us actually wanted to date the other (I’m still not in a dating mindset; I’m very much in a selfish frame of mind right now), but something more casual and relaxed? That works.

Since then there’s been a lot of making out and snuggling, which has been a lot of fun. There’s also been a lot of biting and scratching, which has been a whole different kind of fun. The biting and scratching started out on my end (in fact, I called him my ‘chewtoy’ for a while *grin*), because he responds to being clawed and bitten on his back like most people respond to a gentle massage. Then he turned the tables on me; one day we were snuggled up and relaxing, and he raked his nails –hard!!– over my back while I was in mid-sentence. I stuttered and ended up finishing “…I was saying something…with words…” and couldn’t think for a second or two. The sensation was amazingly pleasant, and the boy took note of my reaction for future use. *snicker*

My Chewtoy has since found an actual girlfriend; luckily, she’s willing to share, to a point. Snuggling’s fine (yay!), pain play is fine (yay!!), but no sex. And y’know, I’m pretty okay with that.

The boy also bites like a freaking pit bull; I’m generally left with lots of bruises on my back, shoulders, and arms when he’s been visiting. The last time he was here, in fact, he bit me twice on the delicate skin of my inner upper arm. The bites weren’t too much harder than normal, but the bruises are _huge_ and look like I’ve been punched.

I was mentioning the other day that ten years ago, I wouldn’t have seen a bunch of bruises as the sign of a good time. More seriously, had I seen a woman sporting bruises like the ones I’ve got now, my first and only thought would have been ‘Abuse!’. Wearing these pretty bruises myself, the reds and blues and greens of healing flesh, I realize that I _enjoy_ these reminders of fun playtime. Visually they’re interesting, and the soreness is a tiny echo of the pleasure that caused them. I seem to be wired more oddly than I originally realized…;)

Y’know, I can actually show off the more interesting marks/bruises here in this blog. It’ll be fun to share ’em with people that will ‘get it’. :)

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